I think ‘success’ and ‘failure’ are pointless words. They are often used subjectively and yet they are meant to be objective terms – black and white.
You could deem something you do to be a failure, but measure it against different standards and it is a success. Is it always useful to denote the things we do as either a ‘success’ or a failure’?
I’ve had a thought about life and making plans. Perhaps we should ask ourselves not:
‘How do we want our lives to be?’
‘What are our consequences?’
As in ‘What do we want the consequences of our actions to be?’
The key here is ‘actions’. We can dream of a life where we have it all: the mansion house, the rich husband, the children, the career, the time to do long lunches and read magazines, the skilled hobbies, the charity work, the ambassador work…
That’s an example of the kind of life we’re often expected to aspire to anyway!
But what I’ve found tricky come age 25 is the shift from dreaming to action.
As a child I was (and I think we all were) dreaming about our adult lives. We would be rich and famous overnight at 21 by a happy accident and everything would work out because we deserved it.
Now, I keep having to realise that you make your own life. Where I got to today is not from wishing hard enough. Today is the consequence of my actions in the past.
Granted we can’t take full control our lives and the influence of family and friends has and will change a large part of it. We don’t want full control either.
Have you ever played The Sims? Have you played it to the point where your Sims got to the top of their careers and had a family without using the cheat. If you have, well done! But I know I got totally bored being in complete control of these people. So I gave them millions of dollars with my cheat to spend on extravagant items and then eventually killed them in different ways to see how they reacted – something that was out of my control!
Morbid? Yes. But my point is it’s exciting to not know how the future will pan out.
However, where we are right now is still a result of our actions prior.
So, the future will be a result of the actions we make now.
Dreaming is good but it is not a direct action that will see a consequence as a result. The consequence of dreaming might actually be depression after realising that the result you dreamt of has not occurred.
I’m telling myself this more than anything because I dream every day. I see it as striving. But it might actually be doing more harm than good.
In summary: Stop analyzing life. Start doing things. And then life will be a consequence of these new actions you’ve taken, not of careful analysis.
Til next time!